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Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 2/26/2008 9:30:42 PM   
ArticlePost

 

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Checking our snail-mail at home, I saw a beautifully inscribed wedding invitation.
It was from a divorced couple I knew. They were re-marrying each other.

“Come share our happiness as we celebrate our love in our “re-marriage” with a renewal of our original marriage vows.”

Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse?
http://articles.familylobby.com/374-Would-You-Remarry-Your-Ex-Spouse.htm
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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 2/26/2008 9:30:42 PM   
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depends on your reason...if the flame is still there for both, then go for it... any other reason my not be so good...

lc

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 2/28/2008 1:45:09 PM   
fiery


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I would not. Never ever. Call me cynical but I simply can't see that working. Unless there had been huge strides made to change what went wrong first time around and you can be sure the relationship wouldn't regress back to how it was, I don't think it'd be worth the risk. Move forward, not back! I hope those that try do make it, though, and wish them all the luck in the world.

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 2/28/2008 2:04:49 PM   
ChristineB

 

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Not me either.  Not ever.  I married too young, and although I have matured, he has not.  In theory for some it may work, but not in my case.  I'm with Kay on this one 110%!

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/5/2008 3:49:42 PM   
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I might. I am certainly thinking thoughts of wanting her to be back in my life and my home again. There is something intangible, perhaps we are soul-mates. All I can tell you is that we've been separated a year now and when I think of her tenderly I still get tears in my eyes. I miss her sweetness and beauty. After the divorce and dating a little bit I realize I changed from the person I was when we married and there was a lack of communication and working together. We can never go back & it is always a forward moving, expansion that has to happen for things to be successful. With maturity, honesty and openness I am thinking it could work. We will never be the same people we were when we first met but we can grow together again after coming to terms with what we can and can not live with in a mate.

B.

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 3/27/2008 6:25:56 PM   
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I did not think that I ever would consider remarriage with my ex. That being said, after the divorce I missed the good aspects of who he was. When I saw him again, he seemed changed... kind and easier to laugh. I found myself thinking about him quite a bit and missing his voice. I was afraid to tell him that I missed him; my sister encouraged me to talk it over with him. I invited him over and we talked, cried, and laughed together. We are moving back in together soon. I am more excited about the future now than ever before. We were married for 23 years. Many of those years were good; we just grew apart. We have decided to focus on each other...to not forget that we are each other's sweetheart.

Renee

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 5/14/2008 8:07:13 PM   
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My ex and I were together for 31 years, married 9 days short of 27 years. He took our marriage for granted, and never listened when I tried to tell him our marriage was in dire trouble. I was making "mountains out of mole hills". All I wanted was the same opportunities to be happy that he had. But I always put his needs and desires first, my big mistake. The "mole hills" grew into a mountain that I felt was insurmountable. We have been divorced for 15 months. He actually moved over 1,000 miles away and got engaged to another woman. Now we are back together, he has proposed to me and I have accepted. I believe we have both grown, realize what we had in each other, and learned to be more tolerant of our differences. As Renee said, we are now going to focus on each other. He has promised to give me the freedom to be happy, and take responsibility for the mistakes he may make. I shall have the patience to talk calmly about our problems BEFORE they become disasters, and accept the assistance he offers in household projects, or when I am physically unable to do the things that need doing. There had to be SOMETHING that kept us together all those years. We truly believe it was, and is, an everlasting love for one another. I hope Renee and any other couples who try it again have learned from their previous mistakes. Good luck!

Ruth

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 6/2/2008 7:58:22 PM   
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OK, so now my ex and I are talking. I am having feelings that I have not had in the twelve years we have been apart; and, not for the lack of trying with new girlfriends! I find myself excited and scared at the same time. I did fall in love and married, but the whirlwind romance gave way to some harsh realities and the divorce soon followed. But, now I am revisting my first wife (married 14 years). In the gap, we have enjoyed watching our children grow and accomplish, we have talked to and about ourselves, and we have had one romantic tryst/trip up!? I like Ruth's answer and do belive that people can change what may have been lacking the first go round. In matters of the heart, the mother of my children will get benefit of the doubt because the rewards (grandchildren, sharing some of the best/worst years, etc.) far outweight the risks (OK, so it doesn't work the second time - nor has countless other relationships I have been in!) - probably because I was looking for the feelings I had with the ex! And, she is still hot after 28 years!

Ron (47 years old)

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 6/19/2008 10:44:36 PM   
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First off I wish all the above couples or singles if they elect to remain as such the very best. I have one ex whom I had children with and could not imagine a re-marriage scenario so I appreciate the perspective. However, very sadly i now have another ex and hope that someday we will re-marry once all our children are grown. By then perhaps, the ex-spouses and children will be mature enough to allow for our happiness to be soul mates as we believe we are so we will not be forced to court to choose. If there is such truth to soul mates he is surely mine. However, good karma or bad karma, this life or next then I only know I am able to feel for this man a love that last a lifetime.

Becky

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/5/2008 10:57:09 PM   
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Good luck to all of you. I would never remarry my first ex, but I would get back with the second ex. I may not remarry him but I would love to have a commitment with him. I believe the only way it can work is not go back to the original marriage...the one that caused you to split up. I would like to start a fresh relationship. One of my close friends, went back to her ex-husband after two years of divorce. They are still together, and it's been about 19 years. My cousin, married and divorced her husband, remarried and divorced him again. The third time, they decided to "shack up." They recently celebrated their 50th (un)wedding anniversary. They are happier than ever. You all give me hope that maybe, just maybe, we'll get back together someday.

Sallie

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/20/2008 4:40:08 AM   
qaswer

 

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Of my Goodness! Is it possible and feasible? So someone is going to make another blunder, I am sorry if I annoyed someone but it shouldn't happen. IMO It is just like to jump from a mountain twice(After escaping from a death once). 

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 7/21/2008 1:55:50 PM   
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At one time I would have re-married my ex in a hearbeat. As the years went on I continued to hope beyond hope that we would reconcile. A few years ago I got real and realized that it was never going to happen and set about making a new life for me and our children. I eventually met and fell in love with someone new and am now engaged to be married. I don't think you ever fully fall out of love with your ex. You share a special bond with them that never seems to go away but at some point you realize that things are the way they are because they are that way and once you make peace with that you can still find room in your heart to love another.

Kath

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 8/2/2008 4:38:23 PM   
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i would do it

smj

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 8/5/2008 5:48:26 PM   
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If I wasn't married to someone else, I would in a heartbeat! Worst mistake I ever made...not trying to make it work with my ex!

sas

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 8/18/2008 9:35:41 AM   
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My husband and I are having trouble in our marriage. And the worst thing is that I dont if there are specefic things causing the problem. He wont talk to me. I tried to talk to him but he just wont sit and talk. He finds it easier to walk away. We have been together for six years, married for five. I love him very much. He hase'nt asked for a divorce, but I feel that it is what he wants. I feel that if we do get divorce I would re-marry him in the future.

Yan

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 8/24/2008 10:24:24 PM   
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I am trying my hardest to show my ex how much I still love her. I suffer from severe depression and did not get it treated in time to possibly save our marriage. She is seeing someone else and that is torturing me into madness. I would do any thing to have her ask me to come home. I vowed to myself that if I get a second chance I will be a completely different person. I can only hope,pray and keep showing her what she truly means to me. I am to blame for 95% of the divorce and I am starting to accept that fact. I hope I can show her that my depression was a big contributor to her falling out of love with me. So again, I believe in second chances and just hope she does also. Good luck to all of you who have succeeded in the remarriage and I hope to have the opportunity to be the happiest man in the world again!

Skip

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 9/10/2008 12:00:55 PM   
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My ex-wife was my second marriage; it took me years to realize that many of the problems and issues that exsisted in both marriages were because of me. Ironically my second ex lives about an hour from me and after 11 years we are talking again. We were both in the US Army and served overseas, unfortunately the service can be a serious family hardship with just one parent in - but with BOTH it can be totally diastrous. Any way we saw each other yesterday for the first time in at least 6 or 8 years - now I can NOT stop thinking of her. I'm not sure where this may go - but I am willing to find out!!!Tread (47)

Tread

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 9/14/2008 11:04:31 PM   
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My ex was someone I had known for years but only dated a short time before we married when I was 19. It lasted 8 months before immaturity busted us up. We actually dated a bit right before he married his second wife but he wanted to be married, I wasn't ready to do it again. We split 22 years ago, lost touch 15 years ago, in the intervening years I have had a child and he married 3 more times. He had been looking for me for years, finally found me a few months ago and all the old feelings have come back. We aren't talking remarriage yet...too early for that but we are trying to see if there is something solid to build on, we still have deep feelings for each other. This seems to be a family trait, my parents were divorced for 20 years before getting remarried and stayed married till my father passed away. It is not for everyone and I think if he and I didn't have the history of friendship before we were married, we wouldn't even attempt it but even if it doesn't work, we will always be close.

Monique

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 9/25/2008 7:05:51 AM   
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Never never never!!!!!!You will bring up the same dynamics in your relation...Just because the time apart made you forget it.You are you and she/he is what she/he is..Have seen 3 remarriages all end up with the SAME PA&#304;NFULL D&#304;VORCE!!!

a

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RE: Would You Remarry Your Ex-Spouse? - 10/24/2008 2:07:21 PM   
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I re-married my ex 2 years ago after being divorced for 13 years. The first time we were together for 7 years. I don't think I ever fell out of love with him, and I looked back with regret and sorrow whenever I thought about what we had lost. But I will tell you that we have slipped back in to the same pattern as before. But at least this time we recognize it and try to work around it. We also know what it is like to 'go to that other side of the fence' and don't want to do that again. So, that being said, while I am glad that we are back together, it isn't all fun and roses. It's work. But it is worth it.

Karen

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